Monopoly for Millennials | A Proper Portrayal, or is it Board-Game Blasphemy?

Don’t you just hate it when people judge you? Or, worse yet, pigeonhole your entire generation?

As for myself, I’m usually not one for typecasting. Come to think of it, I’m not one for pigeonholing either. After all, stereotyping people, let alone whole generations, generally, hasn’t worked all too well for others in the past. Has it?

Well, before you run off to consult your Google machine, let me save you some trouble. The answer is NO! However, the new party-style game, Monopoly for Millennials, by Hasbro chose to go in the opposite direction of this sentiment. Not only that, the world-famous toy-maker took to the concept of stereotyping and ran with it.

Following suit, let’s jump right in!

With the slogan, “Forget Real Estate. You Can’t Afford it Anyway,” the folks over at Hasbro put forth a remarkably witty version of the timeless classic. And, even though this game may seem like a satirical creation from the Staff at The Onion, I can assure you it’s not. Hasbro is undeniably the “brain-child” behind this new twist on an old favorite.

For instance, we live in a day-in-age where credit card and student loan debt are considered commonplace. Consequently, the makers of Monopoly for Millennials picked up on this trend and chose to incorporate it into gameplay. Strictly speaking, you start the game $50,000 in debt. Trust me. I can commiserate. It turns out; you can’t even get away from your debt when you’re playing a gosh darn board-game!

Don’t worry; student loan lenders aren’t going to hound you for giving Monopoly for Millennials. And you certainly won’t have to “Go Directly to Jail,” not passing GO and collecting you’re two hundred clams.

C.R.E.A.M., Cash Rules Everything Around Me, or does it?

Instead of amassing the most money, the goal of this version of the game is to gain experience. That’s right! The board-game founded upon profit-driven capitalism no longer celebrates the green-stuff.

Of course, that’s not to say that money doesn’t play a role in the game. Rather, it continues to serve as a fundamental purpose, only in a round-about way. Specifically, there’s a single job available where a player has the opportunity to earn some cold, hard cash, i.e., the banker. Besides, even this prestigious position, which requires ten in-game years of experience, doesn’t pay much. Furthermore, just because you climbed the corporate ladder in the world of Monopoly, you’re not necessarily guaranteed victory.

Live a Little!

Hasbro urges millennials to “live a little!” To this effect, you rake in experience points by visiting “hip” destinations. For instance, you may find yourself grabbing a hot cup of joe at the Artisanal Coffee Bar, enjoying a day at the Farmer’s Market, or taking a class in the Yoga Studio.

Also, the iconic player-pieces commonly associated with the renowned underwent an overhaul as well. Take the iconic Monopoly Man for instance. In Monopoly for Millennials, he embodies an emoji-based version of his former self. Other than that, there’s the Vintage Camera, Sunglasses, and do you know what else? You guessed it! You can even play as a Hash-Tag, with the number symbol taking center-stage as a new piece.

If you’re worried that playing this updated version won’t evoke any feelings of nostalgia or reminiscence, you’re dead wrong. Some staples remain. To enumerate, the chance and community chest cards haven’t gone anywhere. However, instead of winning “second prize in a beauty contest,” you “sell your grandmother’s vintage coat online.”

Another “blast-from-the-past” we see in the restructured Monopoly is Free Parking. Again, we see Hasbro keep a traditional game element, but change its’ function. In this case, you must pay money if you land on the Free Parking space. How ironic. Right?

Comical Cruelty

Hasbro totally paints millennials with a green brush made from loose, farm-raised horse-hairs, and dipped in an organic blend of Chamomile Tea, Coconut Water, and fresh Kale. I know, I know. Not everyone born into the Millennial Generation is a new-age “hippie,” bent on “going greener” by the day.

So, if you’re a millennial, try not to get offended. Instead, embrace the subtle nuance set in front of you with this game. Alternatively, if you’re a long-time Monopoly player, sit back and enjoy Monopoly with a delightfully modern spin!

It should come as no surprise that that board-games aren’t the most popular form of entertainment amongst the newest generations—especially amongst millennials. After all, it’s the digital age.

Are you kidding? Who has time to for board-games?

You do! So, if you convinced yourself you don’t have enough time to play one game of Monopoly, it’s simple. You’re flat-out robbing yourself of a fundamental human right granted to us by our forefathers! OK. Maybe I’m getting a tad bit overenthusiastic, but can you blame me?

Deep down you know it’s true.

Monopoly is a gaming staple that isn’t going anywhere soon. Therefore, you know what they say. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! This is where you fit in.

Think about it this way.

You’re already in debt up to your eyeballs from spending all your money on Quinoa and Kombucha. In reality, what have you got to lose? So, get off your tushy! Prove that you’re not just some silly idealist with dreams of cars that run on fry-oil from Baby Buddha’s Noodle Palace 😛 On the other hand, if you’re battle-scarred “Monopoly billionaire,” go out and get a hold of the latest spin on one of your all-time favorites. You never know, you might stumble upon a new-found appreciation for the game

Why not go out and play the game that continues to bring joy and excitement into the dens and living rooms of America?

The choice is yours. Order yours today

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